I was talking with a woman who works at a cafe I go to about what we each did over the weekend, and I found out that she was in two bike races! I like talking with her because she really likes exercise, and is one of those people who sort of radiates athleticism. Folks like that can be really encouraging to me, when I meet them in day-to-day life, because they can help reinforce the idea that one doesn’t have to be a full-time athlete to be healthy, or even athletic. Weeks ago she had mentioned a tough yoga class she was taking at the college she goes to, and I asked her how it was going now. She told me that she dropped the class--her friends had dropped out of it, it was at an inconvenient time, and there was another problem: Creepy guys from the gym next door kept walking back and forth next to her classroom, staring through the windows at the women doing yoga.My heart sank.
It’s such a simple kind of sexism, and yet these men managed to discourage this woman enough to have her opt out of her class. It’s a good guess that most of the men don’t even think twice about staring in at the women doing yoga--or if they do, they imagine that they themselves would really love it if women stared at them while working out, not acknowledging the contextual differences between the two situations.
And it my cafe buddy made this decision very matter-of-fact-ly: Too many creepy guys, so she stopped going. This is just the kind of decision she sometimes has to make, as if guys looking in at you while you exercise is just something true about the world that you have to deal with, like taking an umbrella with you when it’s raining.But that sort of sexism isn’t a given--as men, we can recognize how that might make women feel, and adjust our actions accordingly. We might call other men out on it. We might help create a world where the literal male gaze isn’t just one more hazard to be figured in while walking through the world.
1 comment:
I've attended a yoga class for over four years. It is attended by both females and males. As a male it can be pretty distracting at times. To try to make it more comfortable for the women attending I would go to the front of the class so they had to look at me instead of me looking at them. I also would close my eyes for much of the time. This helped me focus but I also did not want to be accused of staring when I was actually trying to concentrate on my breathing or the particular yoga position. I can understand why gyms for women only are so popular. Some female friends have told me how some of the guys at yoga classes just seem to use it as a place to pick someone up, or the male teachers there go from one sexual encounter to another with their students.
I'm wondering how we men can be trained out of staring at women? I was at some traffic lights last week and noticed a girl waiting to cross the road. I then almost witnessed two separate car crashes as two separate drivers turning the corner almost crashed while staring at the same girl. Their heads were bent right round looking in the opposite direction. I thought to myself that men staring at women while driving is a traffic offence that should be severely punished. It may be worse that driving while using a mobile phone.
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