What Does the Middle-class White Hetero Bio-male Have to Say About Racism?
Note: This post isn't directly related to feminism in the strict sense, but as I see the causes of feminism and anti-racism as inextricably intertwined, I'm posting it here anyway.
It's International Blog Against Racism Week in Blogland. Being an ally is tricky, most of the time. For instance, I am aware that, as a white guy in North America, talking about racism can easily come off as self-congratulatory--it's hard to talk about experiences in my life that I am proud of, for instance, where I took a stand against racism, without coming off like I want a cookie. And yet, I want to talk about my experiences around racism--and I would like to do so by not only talking about the ways in which I find racism in my self. So, I'll just leave it that I've been part of a racist culture for so long that I will always struggle with my blind spots, and with racism within myself, but I'll put forward something that I'm proud of. Not because I want a cookie, or because I think such actions are as important as what others have to go through on a daily basis, are forced to go through on a daily basis, but because I have to be proud of myself for the ways in which I struggle against the dominant paradigm, even when it costs me, and those I care about.
I am estranged from my stepfather's family, for the most part, and I am estranged from them because I refused to sit around and listen to them make casually racist statements. We were all sitting around the Thanksgiving table (hello, paging Dr. Irony) and my stepfather's brother, who lived next door to my parents, was lamenting that my parents were selling their house. He was worried that 'some mexicans' would move in, and that he'd have to have them as neighbors. Everybody sort of chuckled and knowingly laughed. I asked why somebody's race would matter regarding who moved in next door. He fumbled a bit, as people often do when forced to explain their racism with more than a knowing wink and a laugh, but explained to me that it would drive property values down and the like. I told him he was a racist, and full of it, and I left the table. Later, I blogged about the situation, explaining that I had put up with less overt racism from my family for so long, and that I wasn't going to put up with it any longer. My step-sister-in-law had been reading my blog (though I didn't know that) and was upset that I had included her as a racist. It's interesting how some people don't think anything short of overt racism is racism at all. "Sure, I laugh when people make racist comments, but I don't hate people of color!"
In the end, I didn't change anyone's minds (though I still hold out hope that I made them think twice about at least the most overt kinds of racism), and I managed to piss off my entire step-family (except my stepfather, who has an interesting take on life--though we often disagree, we seek out our commonalities). I don't care so much, really, because if they're not willing to even discuss stuff, I don't have time for them; on the other hand, my mother really suffers the most because she doesn't get to have me around during a lot of family events.
At any rate, I tell this story just to point out that, if you're a white guy out there wondering what you can do, this is the sort of thing I would like to see more of, both in myself and in others.
5 comments:
Jeff - whenever someone is of a privileged class, speaking out against social injustice always appears as a self-congratulatory thing.
I am sure as a pro-feminist male, you've experienced leery-eyed people who encounter your philosophy against misogyny.
But in the end, it's not about how we feel or how we're "oh, so oppressed" and misunderstood. Such encounters are still minute compared to the social injustices faced by people other other classes and gender. In the end, it's really about standing up to speak out against discrimination, regardless of whichever class we were born/socialized into.
So, in the end, I speak out, no matter what. I can see you're doing the same.
Marc
On a second note - would you mind if I linked your page on mine? It's my intent to create a dialogue regarding the role of the privileged class in the activism for the oppressed circles.
Marc--
Thanks for the comment. I do think that people who have privilege in various ways (staying aware of the fact that privilege isn't a simple concept, and that people often stand with their feet in different circles--oppressed and oppressor) do have an added job to keep their privilege in mind, even when speaking out against racism, sexism and the like. So I think it is all about standing up to speak out against discrimination, but I also think it's possible/probable that different people need to do so in (sometimes) different ways.
Regarding linking--link away. I haven't seen your page yet, of course, but if you're interested in feminism and anti-racism, I'd love to check out what you have to say. Be sure to let us know where you're at! (Our blogroll is, obviously, pitiful. At some point, hopefully, we'll do a better job at linky goodness.)
You're quite right, Marc, but it is useful to take into account how what we say will come across. This is especially true in the context of a blog like this one, where we are trying to change the way people think and behave, and presentation, not only intent, is relevant.
Anyway, I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Like Jeff said, let us know where your website is, because I'd like to check it out too. And for future reference, it's not necessary to ask someone's permission before linking to them. Any website that is not behind a login screen may be considered public-access, and treated as such.
Jeff and Dave - I do agree that conciousness raising means absolutely everything and being aware of the image we display, because of our gender and, often times, color, privileges might bring. But that's why there are blogs like yours, to examine the day-to-day complexities of truly helping and changing the oppressed, without seeming self-congratulatory or as saviors riding in on our white horses, because it would kind of defeat the purpose of all we fight for. :)
And Dave, I always ask permission simply to be polite, and as a way to let people know I think highly of their blogs.
I am at profeministmale.wordpress.com
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