If/when - we can get men - "normal men" to really relate to Male Violence as a major problem (everywhere) I think it may be easier to tackle both sexism and sexist violence.I think Geo's right on here, though (as always) I think there are complexities that we need to keep in mind. If we're concerned about men getting immediately defensive when discussing male violence against women (and that last post was about when and where we might think it's worth being concerned about), then discussing the tendency of traditional masculinity to teach men to respond with violence to various sorts of situations may be a good starting place.
Most men have been on the receiving end of male violence, or know a man who has been. Men have been drafted into wars, or tricked into enlisting with promises of achieving the ultimate in masculinity. Men have been smacked around by fathers as boys. Men have seen their mothers smacked around by their fathers. Traditional masculinity teaches men to give some violence back when in these situations, even when that is impossible (a good deal of the time), or when it would do not good anyway (a good deal of the time). Feminist critiques of traditional masculinity can help men see that traditional masculinity is a big part of the problem regarding the violence of men in general--and then we can start talking more about the everyday violence that women experience at the hands of men who have not yet learned to recognize the ways in which traditional masculinity sucks for all of those involved.
I don't think this is the only way that we can approach men about violence against women--depending on the context, I think a more direct approach on that front is sometimes warranted--we might bring men's violence against women to the fore and then later talk about men's violence in general (and heck, violence in general).
No great revelations, perhaps, but I think it's good to keep reminding ourselves of the different ways we might affect the world, of the different ways we might change some minds.
5 comments:
It is unfortunate that in your description of the violence committed against males you fail to mention women as aggressors. Most child abuse is committed by women. Nearly 40% of the people who rape and sexual abuse males are women. Recent studies show that women initiate and commit the same amount of domestic violence as men.
By avoiding mentioning that important aspect of violence committed against male you present an inaccurate view of male violence. Unless you consider female violence against males as inconsequential or condone it, it insulting to male victims of female violence to pretend they do not exist.
TS - I realize that your perspective is different from being supportive of feminism. Nevertheless I find your words offensive and misleading.
I will agree with you that the abuse of young boys is caused More by Women than the popular press generally recognizes. This is largely as a result of the fact that women do a much higher percentage of the care of young children than men do.
It seems pointless to mention studies relating to the abuse of women, men and/or children as you will no doubt sight studies that conflict with whatever I or anyone else mentions.
Male sexual abuse survivors are an often ignored population unfortunately.
I, however, live in a world where far, far, far more women live in fear of domestic violence and death from men, than there are men fearing women.
I am most concerned with Male Violence against Men, Women and Children because we men have problems with "anger management" as well as of "letting go" of those we allegedly care about (and used to care about).
I have never feared physical or sexual assault from a woman. I am sorry IF you've been victimized by Women. If you have, you no doubt are facing a tough path.
I have faced the potential of male violence in my life and certainly still as an "older" man am cautious in certain circumstances around some men.
I have no problem with you expressing your perspective briefly here, however I think more extensive discussion of your issues is best done on your own blog or elsewhere where you may be more welcome. (I, of course, speak only for myself!)
Good Luck!
geo--I appreciate your comments here.
Geo - I do apologize if one finds my concern for males who have had unfortunate early childhood sexual contact with women offensive. However, I must respectfully disagree with one's notion that it is best for such males to remain silent because women are more deserving of concern and support.
TS: Geo has left the building...er...blog. This is a pretty old thread!
I think your interpretation that what Geo (or anybody here at FA) is saying is that it is always best for men to remain silent...etc...is suspect at best, and disingenuous at worst.
Post a Comment