"The women of Bikini Kill let guitarist Billy Karren be in their feminist punk band, but only if he's willing to just "do some shit." Being a feminist dude is like that. We may ask you to "do some shit" for the band, but you don't get to be Kathleen Hannah."--@heatherurehere


Thursday, July 07, 2011

Pro-Porn AND Pro-Reality: Cindy Gallop

I appreciate the nuanced take that Cindy Gallop has on how the ubiquity of porn may be affecting our sex lives, especially for those folks who have grown up with the internet.


I do have a couple of problems with her take on things: One, she seems to have ignored, at least for purposes of her presentation, that it's not only young boys who have easy access to porn, but folks of all genders. Secondly, I'd like to see some science done around what folks of all genders and ages really think sex should be like--I suspect many more of them understand that porn represents a few kinds of sex, most of which are pure fantasy. From Gallop's point of view, I'm overly optimistic about how easily people distinguish fantasy from reality.

I'd also love it if the myriad kinds of porn were at least recognized--there is queer porn, gay male porn, bdsm porn, fetish porn, etc. (and I do mean ETC.!)--so, while distinguishing between what happens on screen and what happens in folks' day-to-day sex lives is important, it's also important to recognize that what happens in all of those places has near-infinite variations, for those who want them!

Bonus video: Robin Williams responding directly to Cindy Gallop's talk:

7 comments:

Precious Stone said...

I totally agree with you. I think people don't realize that our youth has really changed. It's not just teenage boys watching porn but it is pre-teen boys and girls and grown adults. It seems as if we are becoming more and more exposed to porn whether it is "soft core" or straight porn in movies and television shows so it is no wonder that people are becoming so accustomed to it. Yet it seems as if our society only thinks of porn, as you mention as male and female, when the "porn world" has grow much farther beyond that.

Cindy Gallop said...

Many thanks for this coverage! Actually, I do stress that MakeLoveNotPorn is a gender-equal proposition in the longer talk slots I have gotten since, and in my book, which you might like to read, and which goes into a lot more detail of exactly the kind you are looking for :)

http://www.amazon.com/Make-Love-Not-Porn-ebook/dp/B004P1IX9U/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

Cindy Gallop
www.makelovenotporn.com

Cindy Gallop said...

Many thanks for the coverage! Actually, I do stress that MakeLoveNotPorn is a gender-equal proposition in the longer talk slots I've gotten since, and in my book, which you might like to read as it goes into more detail re the areas you reference :)

http://www.amazon.com/Make-Love-Not-Porn-ebook/dp/B004P1IX9U/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1


Cindy Gallop
www.makelovenotporn.com

jeff said...

Thanks for stopping by, Cindy! I'll take a look at some of the longer spots. You might be interested to know that mlnp has been down all morning...I was going to link to it, but wasn't sure it was still viable!

atlslim02 said...

My concern is how pornography affects people and how they view themselves and others. It's basically our version of sex education. Which is really sad.

Anonymous said...

As a member of the generation Cindy is speaking of, I can confidently say, at least in my personal experience, that what she has said is very true for my generation. Most boys AND girls I know have learned all they know about sex from porn. Not only have the men I have slept with believed by and large that how sex is depicted in porn is how sex is supposed to be, most women my age I've met have participated in acts they were not keen on and did not enjoy because of a mutual belief between them and their partners that sex was supposed to be like that. My generation has grown up with prevalent porn and prevalent abstinence-only education (or generally bad sex-education), and internalized a great deal from porn as it's only source of sex information.

Those of us involved in subcultures and humanitarian movements have made some progress in re-educating ourselves, but some of my friends not involved in these sects of society are still struggling with the disparity between what looks good in porn and what feels good in reality.

Jeff Pollet said...

@torbs--you might be interested to know that Gallop just started her new venture, makelovenotporn.tv....