"The women of Bikini Kill let guitarist Billy Karren be in their feminist punk band, but only if he's willing to just "do some shit." Being a feminist dude is like that. We may ask you to "do some shit" for the band, but you don't get to be Kathleen Hannah."--@heatherurehere


Monday, June 11, 2012

Everyday (Subtle) Sexism

As I go through my day, I often run up against some sort of subtle sexism.  Sometimes it's not so subtle, of course, but oftentimes it's not the in-your-face-angry types of sexism that get under my skin; rather, it's the more insidious kinds of sexism that gets to me.  Of course, as a guy, I'm often not suffering directly because of this sexism--but I would add that a lot of women don't suffer directly from subtle forms of sexism.  Instead these kinds of everyday sexism create a kind of  conceptual background within which we all live, and, to the degree that the background is sexist, we have to live within it. To the degree that it is subtle, it's difficult to call people out about it. 

This picture was put up as a "joke" by a guy that I know to be a smart, worldly man who has done a lot of thinking about (among other things) gender.  It's part of a basic trope that I hear echoes of all the time:  "Women are complex.  Men are simple."  I think it's pretty sexist--it's part of the whole "Mars vs. Venus" line of thinking which oversimplifies sex and gender is so many ways that it's difficult to know where to begin when criticizing it. (Ok, a beginning: There is more variation between individual men and between individual women as regards behavior than there is between women and men. )

I think it's often a good idea to point out this kind of everyday, subtle sexism, because it's exactly the kind of sexism that well-meaning people want pointed out to them--I try to appreciate it when folks point out that I'm using sexist (or racist, or homophobic, or whatever) ideas especially when I'm just not aware of them. Unfortunately, this sort of thing doesn't always play out so well for me; when I pointed out the sexism involved in the picture, it was not well-received, even by a guy who has a lot of experience with social justice issues and oppression.

So what do you folks do when you run into everyday, subtle sexism? 

7 comments:

Beth Keenan said...

When I run into subtle sexism, which I usually tend to see in many places, it really makes me think. It makes me wonder how ingrained gender roles are in our society. If this subtle sexism is in so many places, it must be effecting society and a certain level. It can be hard to detect and first glance, which is why it is so effective. We are being fed these ideas about what both men's and women's roles in society are supposed to be and we don't even know it; this is why it is important to be aware of the fact that women and men have no roles that they are made or born to follow.

Beth Keenan said...

When I run into subtle sexism, which I usually tend to see in many places, it really makes me think. It makes me wonder how ingrained gender roles are in our society. If this subtle sexism is in so many places, it must be effecting society and a certain level. It can be hard to detect and first glance, which is why it is so effective. We are being fed these ideas about what both men's and women's roles in society are supposed to be and we don't even know it; this is why it is important to be aware of the fact that women and men have no roles that they are made or born to follow.

Beth Keenan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff Pollet said...

I may be oversimplifying, but you pretty much just summed up Beauvoir's existentialism.

Thanks for stopping by, Beth.

lmyya said...

Thank you for this post! In particular, you comment that there are more differences between individuals of the same gender than there are between individuals of different genders. (Or, maybe to rephrase more precisely, more differences between individuals regardless of gender, than because of gender).

Do you have some authority for that idea? I am inclined to agree with it and I like it; but when I try to tell it to people who-- well, people who may benefit from it-- they typically reply to the tune of "Nuh-uh. Prove it!" I would like to prove it with more than anecdotal evidence and my own observations, because these never fly in the kind of conversation I'm describing.

Can you point me to any information or any source? I'd appreciate it. I think you are right on.

Jeff Pollet said...

I suspect a good deal of my view in this regard comes from Joan Roughgarden's book, "Evolution's Rainbow"--it's at least a good place to start, Imyya, though most of it is ostensibly about mostly animals-other-than-humans.

The other place this comes from, for me, is Cordelia Fine's book, Delusions of Gender.

Jennifer said...

As a woman who regularly experiences this subtle form of sexism, I commend you for identifying this behavior, even if they were annoyed by it. Perhaps you planted some doubt in their head. Recognizing and admitting that this is a problem is necessary in order to work toward solutions. Great research on this topic is just starting to gain more attention and significance. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambivalent_sexism