Saturday Morning PMSing

The webcomic Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is sometimes borderline misogynist, but today it hit the nail on the head:

Men's Story Project: Drain the Main Vein

I love this piece from the Men's Story Project, because it highlights the ridiculousness of one part of traditional masculinity while making one laugh:

Men and Grief

Great post up over in the feministing community about "disenfranchised grief" and men. Rachel In WY says:

So as I've been thinking about this it occurs to me that men may often experience disenfranchised grief more often than women, because it's more socially acceptable for women to express their grief, and because men are often expected not to have the same depth of feeling. I've known several men who really wanted children, and were deeply emotionally invested in having a family. When they (and their partner) encountered infertility or miscarriage, their grief was barely even acknowledged, while their partner received a lot of support. When men do express their grief over infertility or a miscarriage, or don't "get over it" quickly enough, they're viewed with a mixture of confusion and disapproval. So I think this is one example of the damage a patriarchal culture inflicts on men. What do you think of this? Are there other examples of disenfranchised grief I haven't thought of? Are there cases where a woman's grief is more disenfranchised than a man's?

Go check out her whole post, and the comments.

Check

Have y'all heard of the RHRealitycheck.org? It's a great organization that focuses on reproductive health ("RH", get it?) issues, in part from the standpoint of countering misinformation spread about reproductive health by those who would restrict reproductive health to married baby-making hetero people. On of my favorite parts of the site is the "Reality Video Series," which tells the stories of the parts of people's lives that revolve around reproductive health issues. In the clip below, I was struck by how much Monica desired her partner to take a larger part in the decision making when she became pregnant--I hadn't thought about the fact that a man "being supportive" in this situation might take various forms, not all of which mean that man ought to keep his feelings and opinions to himself.

I think this is the strength of these sorts of videos--personal stories reveal facets of complex situations I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

Our Reality: My Name is Monica and I Had an Abortion, Part 1 from RH Reality Check on Vimeo.

Men's Story Project Online

Well, considering the only person besides me who is still reading this blog already saw the show, it may be silly to post this, but I'm proud of it, dammit, and hopefully one or two people go ahead and go see more of the Men's Story Project online. I'm proud of my piece, but I'm more proud that I got to work with the other men of the show, and the woman who got the whole dang thing put together in the first place. I highly encourage y'all to go check it all out. More information on the project itself can be found on the internets.

Yeah, But What About the Men?

Instead of teaching women not to walk alone at night or to carry Mace, some colleges are trying something much harder -- changing college men.

Vote

And if you're in CA, please vote No on Prop 8:



Oh, and of course no on Prop 4:

What of the "parental involvement" Proposition 4 wants to mandate? In California, the majority of young people (79%) already talk to their parents about sexual issues. According to studies, anywhere between 61-70% of teens nationally involve their parents in their decision about whether or not to have an abortion. That number skyrockets to 90% in minors 15 years old and younger. When a young woman, 16 years old or older, chooses not to, there are usually good reasons. According to the ACLU:

One study showed that 22% of teens who did not tell a parent about their abortion decision feared that, if they told their parents, they would be kicked out of the house. More than 8% feared that they would be physically abused because their parents had beaten them before. Of those who did not tell a parent, 12% did not live with either parent and 14% had parents who abused drugs or alcohol.

It's not only about communication with parents though. Abortion providers would not be doing their jobs if they did not advocate for the health and well being of their patients -- and that usually means encouraging parental involvement when it's safe and possible. "I think that people don't know that abortion providers usually encourage parental involvement -- it's just better all around if it's possible," says Peg Johnston. "Younger teens almost always involve family and older teens mostly fear disapproval of their parents." In fact, Peg created the Mom, Dad, I'm Pregnant project to "help teens tell their parents, and almost more importantly, to help parents respond in helpful, rather than hurtful ways."

Bigger, Strong, Faster

Just finished a darn good documentary: Bigger, Stronger, Faster--directed by Christopher Bell. Not only is it a well made film, it also has a surprising number of twists and turns--in the end explaining that fear of steroids has been drummed up, but centering on the ways in which using steroids really is The American Way, and questioning if that's really how we want things to continue.

Along the road to making these points, Bell also does a mini-expose on the ways in which men's body image has shifted over the past three or four decades, and the ways in which men now think they need to be bigger, stronger and faster in ways they perhaps weren't as concerned about in the past. In this way, Bell indirectly is questioning one traditional mode of male masculinity, and as such I thought it might be interesting to anybody who might still be stopping by here.

Second Men's Story Project Performance

Update: I'm putting this back on top. Hope to see lots of people there. I also hope I have a voice by Wednesday, because right now, not so much. Thank you, strep throat.

Free performance, and donations at the door will benefit SF Women Against Rape, which works with people all genders in prevention and response to gender-based violence.

House of Cards

This has been floating around for a bit, I think, but darn if it isn't very, very funny.



Hat tip to fem-men-ist.

Bitch

Update: They made it! Yay!
Bitch magazine is in some financial trouble. If you have ever thought of subscribing and/or donating, this may be your last chance.



This is a pretty sad thing to learn the day after I got excited because there was the magazine in my mailbox...

Men's Story Project

Anybody local to the SF Bay area might like to come out to see this show I'm involved in. Men exploring traditional and non-traditional masculinities. I'd love to see y'all there.



Also, listen Josie (the one responsible for all of this mayhem, our producer and the creator of the Men's Story Project) and Robert (a contributor) talk about the project on KPFA (the MSP section is about 72 minutes in, but the whole show is pretty interesting!) here.

If I Didn't Know Better...

...I'd think that maybe Jim Meddick, the guy who creates the strip Monty, has been reading this blog, and is now making fun of himself:

A Wee Bit about Kyle Payne

Renegade Evolution has a great roundup about Kyle Payne, if you have been under a rock and haven't heard about this jerk. I think everything that can be said has been said, but I will say this: It's good to remember that there are sometimes good reasons why feminist women and trans feminists are suspicious of feminist men. It sucks that there is a tendency for people to lump feminist men together, as we are of course as different from each other as feminist women are different from each other, but one can understand this tendency when somebody like Payne pops up.

Of course, lots and lots of feminists don't lump us together like that, and also recognize that, while the potential wolf-in-sheep's-clothing problem is always going to be there, men contribute a lot to feminism.

bell audio

I used to have a weekly series on bell hooks that has (as much else here) fallen by the wayside. But if anybody who loves hooks is still around these parts, you can listen to some of her speeches and Q&A's online. Thanks to Lisa at Black Women, Blow the Trumpet! for the link.

Go Read Fem.men.ist

If you're not already reading Richard's blog, you're missing out. Here's a sample of Richard's discussion of Terrance Dean's book, Hiding in HipHop:

There definitely seems to be more vilifying of the men in DL culture than criticism of a larger culture that gives few options for people to just live their lives. I am not endorsing anyone cheating on their wives/partners in order to have down low interactions, I just think that some of the pain that Terrance Dean seems to convey should be taken into account... As a hetero man, I myself wonder what it would be like if I lived in bizarro switcheroo-change-o land, and had to keep up appearances to be "a gay man" but really want to date women, and have to see them on the down low. If you are also a straight man, and reading that made you cringe... hold on to that feeling. Especially if you are not able to understand why men would go on the down low. Empathy to the human condition is essential for us all to make it y'all...

Richard's also involved in a project I'm involved in, The Men's Story Project, which all y'all should come see if you're local to the SF Bay Area.

The Body Positive

My friend Jen pointed me to a great organization, The Body Positive. They do work with people through the Health At Every Size model of health, and they place a good deal of their focus on restructuring how we imagine our own bodies. Jen, who has worked as a fitness trainer for many years, had this to say:

Two years ago I had the great fortune of meeting Connie Sobczak. Connie is the co-founder of The Body Positive, a non-profit organization created with the purpose of helping people overcome negative body image and distorted relationships to food. The Body Positive connects people to their internal wisdom, freeing them to live joyfully in their bodies. When Connie and her good friend, Elizabeth Scott, LCSW, founded The Body Positive in 1996, concerned stories about body image and eating disorders we're still topping the news. Lately, most of the stories covering body image focus on female celebrities' weight loss/weight gain extremes, trivializing the significance of the issues.

I can tell you that for the years I worked as a Fitness Trainer I don't think I worked with a single client who wasn't afflicted with some degree of body hatred. It broke my heart to see otherwise healthy, successful and dynamic people who existed in a constant state of dissatisfaction with their bodies or questioned their very worth as human beings because they were unhappy with the way their bodies looked.

Recently I was telling a good friend of mine about The Body Positive and how important and urgent their work is. Her look told me she wasn't convinced. My reply was this: "Consider over the course of your life all the time you've spent agonizing about your body, trying to lose weight or control you're appearance in some way. Now multiply that number by virtually every woman (and now more men) in the U.S. Now imagine all of those collective hours being redirected towards something positive for our world."

The Body Positive is trying to raise some money. If you have some, you might think about giving some of it to them.

Men's Project

For those of you in the SF Bay Area, spread the word. Deadline extended to May 30th.

Call for submissions:
Men's Story Project


Men of all ages and backgrounds are invited to participate in the Men's Story Project! This project will bring together a diverse group of men's real stories to create a local performance about men's life experiences. We're looking for stories from men of a variety of race/ethnicities, sexual orientations, social/cultural backgrounds, life histories, etc.

The pieces can be poems, monologues, prose, raps, just a few powerful sentences, a dance piece, music, etc. - on subjects such as lessons you were taught about what it means to be a man, social/cultural expectations, learning on your own what it is to be a man, experiences of violence, experiences of promoting peace/healing, relationship with your body, sexuality, gender, power, transformation, taboos, etc. Pieces should last a max of 5 minutes. It may also be possible to exhibit visual art in the space.

Contributions of all kinds are welcome -- funny, serious, vulnerable, risk-taking, triumphant, etc - the main theme is REAL. We will present them to an audience in a Bay Area venue TBD in June or July, with the lofty goal of helping move society forward in conceptions of what it can mean to be a man.

If you want to create a piece but would prefer to have someone else read it, that's fine - authorship can be anonymous. If you have a story in mind but want some coaching to get it on paper, we have folks who can help you.

This is a progressive event and will be a safe space.

*Submission deadline: May 22 May 30th*

Participants will be paid $50.

This is an independent project getting off the ground, and is not affiliated with any organization.

Please send submissions + a short bio and any q's to Josie Lehrer at jlehrer1@gmail.com

Sticks and Stones

From The Fusco Brothers, which provides a seemingly endless supply of blogfodder: Because domestic violence is hi-larious.

Don't Vote For McCain, Because He's Pussywhipped

Ted Rall has some interesting stuff, but this cartoon about McCain bothers me:
Rall's point that McCain is supported by special interests--in this case, special interests related to his wife's business--isn't unimportant. But the idea that we shouldn't vote for McCain because hes somehow emasculated by his wife's power and money is distracting, rather than interesting or funny.

There are so many other reasons to not vote for McCain, other than the idea that his wife made him sign a prenup, or that she makes him keep the toilet seat down (that BITCH!).

Note: This is all leaving aside the lack of compassion toward anybody who has ever been a prisoner of war that Rall exhibits with the "I miss the Hanoi Hilton" comment.