"The women of Bikini Kill let guitarist Billy Karren be in their feminist punk band, but only if he's willing to just "do some shit." Being a feminist dude is like that. We may ask you to "do some shit" for the band, but you don't get to be Kathleen Hannah."--@heatherurehere


Monday, March 12, 2007

Our Bodies, Body Images - Gender, Aging and ...

Others have posted things on various blogs critical of the Washington State University events focusing on "body awareness" which particularly for some women touched upon some rather "sensitive" (at best) issues.

As a 55+ year old male who works out in the gym about six days a week I see both men and women regularly in our glory, shame, neither and both. Young women in particular seem very intent upon being so thin and properly shaped. Men seem often more focussed on their muscles and sometimes their aerobic strength. Older women and to a lesser degree men seem to often focus on our bending, stretching, our aching backs and the like.

It is sad to see the women who often appear to be around 45-50 years old, thin, but no longer "young", imitating the 25 year olds with their piercings in their midriffs and small outfits, trying fleetingly to be "youthful".

It is sad to see the sexism (at times at least) apparent as women must struggle to be appealing to men - to be thinner and appear younger.

It is also sad to see both women and men try to deny ourselves at times and in varying ways as we try to feel in control of our bodies and our lives, having increasing reminders of our vulnerability as we start to see peers dying too young. Our bodies don't bend as easily as they once did and we recover from injuries more slowly.

Sexually I no doubt am not the only man around who has issues relating to how I've aged perhaps "prematurely" . It is hard to talk with other men and women about such issues. Even if shame doesn't overwhelm us we've not learned to be open in areas we feel weak in and few of us have peers we feel safe regularly talking with.

I know that when I was younger I used to deny various parts of reality. I could use my strength - in running and later in bicycling to be an excuse for how poorly I stretched and bent my body. Now I must exercise regularly to avoid back pain.

Respecting our limitations and working with, rather than against, our bodies is important. As we learn to understand and respect ourselves we men in particular may also respect others and be more aware of our sexism and our excessive foci on various body related issues.

In a way I feel much better now, as I want to maintain my strength, rather than reach for some pinnacle as I might have done years ago. I also hope, no doubt vainly, that more younger men and women will learn from us older folks and make less mistakes than we have made in our lives.

Thanks!

3 comments:

Orion said...

An interesting post. I'm thinking it over, but don't have any particularly insightful comment yet. Perhaps because I lack experience with either aging or gyms.

Anonymous said...

I've spent plenty of time in my university's gym, and it's always an experience that I want to work with in my writing. I'm really glad you're getting the ball rolling on this subject.

The gym is such a bastion of traditional masculinity, so tied in with the "bigger is better" concept, at least for guys. It is sometimes hard to feel progressive when I'm benching or doing crunches - but when I can find that mix of body and spirit and can realize, even fleetingly, that I'm improving myself, not appeasing others - that's a truly radical feeling.

However, you said:It is sad to see the women who often appear to be around 45-50 years old, thin, but no longer "young", imitating the 25 year olds with their piercings in their midriffs and small outfits, trying fleetingly to be "youthful".

Here I must disagree with you, at least partially. These women are not aberrations - they are following their socialized roles. American culture privileges young, thin women, so it only seems logical that women are trying to acheive that. This doesn't make it necessarily right or wrong, but it does make sense. Of course, I don't agree with it, but I think putting the focus (blame) on individual women rather than on socialized behavior and privileges makes us lose sight of what the real problems are.

Jeff Pollet said...

Nice post, Geo. I often recommend the following site to people: stumptuous.com. She has great exercise stuff for everybody, but it's centered toward women. She gives reasons why women might want to build some muscle, attacks some prevailing myths (like if you do weights--as a woman or man--you'll automatically get big muscles), and has a great sense of humor. She's also a scientist who takes the nutrition stuff very seriously.

The gym I go to is in the building I work in, so I don't actually get to see many people working out, but it seems to me that it might be best for men who do workout to focus on changing the habits of men in those situations--i.e. once I figured out how to gain strength without necessarily building lots of bulky muscles, I started enjoying the gym a lot more. I also tend to do a lot of freeweights, which I think combat to some degree the negatives in the gym culture (i.e. it's not as easy to just pile on weight when you don't have mechanical failsafes).

The various masculinities that can be found in the gym are really interesting, I think.